My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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