Plan B is the new Plan A
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
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