I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
