i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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