My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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