yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
