Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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