So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
