how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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