Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
