doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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