We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
