so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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