my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
