I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
