...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
