u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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