I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
