just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
