Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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