Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
