Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize