I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
