It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
