Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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