No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
