I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
