I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
