i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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