SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize