Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
