Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
