i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
