susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
