"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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