peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
