as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
