i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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