I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
