Porn is love you can see.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
