the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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