apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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