if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
