Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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