you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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