he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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