how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
