She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
