Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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