At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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